Fly Away Home

Child's Airplane by Michele Nicolette of Diesel and Juice

My travel days for work have ended, at least for the immediate future. If there is going to be another in-person work meeting next month, or the following, I have yet to hear about it. I'm enjoying every day that passes when I don't get the official "Make Your Travel Plans Now" email from the company higher-ups.

If I can make it until July 18th (which is when Jon and I will be heading to New York City on vacation) without having to step foot on a plane, I'll be one happy clam.

The next couple months are jam-packed with to-do list items. We're moving in August. There are about five dozen things of ours to sell before then. There are places and things in the Bay Area that I want to enjoy before the OC becomes our home for the next two years. There are birthdays and a wedding for dear friends; I want to be present and available and energetic for all of that.

It's going to be hard work for me. Hard work, because all I really want to do sometimes is curl up in bed with my cat, my dogs, and my beau.

My weekdays are dedicated to working a job that is changing in exciting ways. Change means that there are a lot of new things to learn, and I want to have the energy to accept new responsibilities with open and capable arms. I'm nervous about not being good at my job. I'm nervous I won't be able to hide it.

There's a lot going on in my brain right now. I'm trying not to shy away from new challenges, which—as it happens—is something I've always struggled with: a lack of confidence that I can succeed, so I sabotage myself. I take the easier, less frightening route.

I so dislike this about myself.

It's the beginning of May, and summer is just around the corner. There's a lot to be done, and I plan to tackle it all with the utmost dedication. If I seem like I'm slacking, friends, I've heard swift kicks to the head are quite effective.