A Crazy Little Thing Called Motivation

Image credit: Garance Doré

I have a confession to make.  You know that diet I started ranting about two months ago?  You remember how enthusiastic I was about switching from Atkins back to Weight Watchers?  Remember how I made it seem like losing weight was easy and I'd be a skinny hipster in no time??  (OK, maybe that last part wasn't in there.)

Yeah... I haven't been doing so well.  As usual, I can't resist the temptation of carbs and fried foods, and Hawai'i proved to be a week of terrible eating, lots of drinking, and absolutely no working out.  I even took Jillian on vacation with us!  Not only did I not workout while down there, I didn't pick it up again until this last weekend.  And obviously, our love for cocktails doesn't work in my weight-loss favor, either... in fact, I think it is very much to blame.  Well, that and my lack of willpower.

I thought for sure that wanting to look sexy in a bathing suit for our trip in April was going to be enough to get those 20+ lbs off.  I kept thinking that the impending summer and desire to wear my dresses and shorts would illicit enough energy and motivation to get me moving and shaking and all that jazz.

Photo source unknown, found via this tumblr

What I've finally figured out is this: Simply wanting to look hot is not strong enough motivation for me to lose weight.  Just looking at that >> photo should be enough to make me never want to come within 100 yards of a carbohydrate ever again!  I mean, damn, amiright?  But if it were, I'd already be a slim size 4/6 with lots of full-body photos to share and I would never use the word "diet" again.

So what's the secret?  What is the thought-formula that will snap me back into a healthy mindset and restore the self-restraint that I had senior year of college?

I don't really have an answer to this; I don't know what my Ultimate Motivation for losing weight.  But I know I want it and I'm tired of struggling.  I'm sick of feeling like I have to choose between being thin and enjoying life.  That's silly, obviously.  I absolutely love healthy food, and I revel in the way I feel when it's all I'm eating.  But junk food is a drug, and it's one I haven't quite been able to quit.

But I'm trying.  My best friend, Cassie—the one who just had a baby four months ago—has been actively dieting for the last three months... and in that time, you guys, she's lost 46 lbs.  And it's still coming off close to a pound every one or two days.  She's a  total rock star, and she looks amazing.  And what better motivation than bringing a baby into the world?  One who will soon be crawling, then walking, then running...  She's inspired me to take a look at the way I've been eating and get back to basics: calorie intake versus calories burned.  Seems obvious, but to someone who has been a fad-dieter her whole teenage/adult life, it's almost too simple of a concept.

So we'll see how this goes; just another approach to get me to my goal.  I'm collecting inspiration-pictures now, and trying to get myself motivated with plans for extreme activities and summer-fun-times.  Jon has dropped the words Warrior Dash more than once, and I fear I may be swayed by his grizzly charms.

Good night, friends.  Off to dream of eating a giant hamburger while looking hot in a bikini—which is, let's face it, my ultimate goal.